Five Knuckle Shuffle

from by Claw Toe

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End of side 1

lyrics

There's a bird in my class who's got big tits
I'd really like to fuck it
A priest told me to save that shit
So I've now filled up two buckets
My best friends mum is a hot tomato
I squirt cream cheese on my sweet potato
I'm a compulsive masturbator, I'm a compulsive
MASTURBATOR

Now, I've jacked off on the way to school
And I've jacked off in the park
I can't help but fiddle with my tool
When I'm alone in the dark
I've jacked off in me Grandma's front room
I always come a little bit too soon
I'm a compulsive masturbator, I'm a compulsive
MASTURBATOR

(air guitar solo)

Now, I like to play with my tool as a rule
It'll probably make me blind
Once I shot it right over my head
And it nearly took out my eye
Cos I jacked off in a bog at a party
I've got a little move I call the Kamikaze
I'm a compulsive masturbator, I'm a compulsive
MASTURBATOR

I spend a lot of time with my pants around my ankles
When my parents are away
and I wank and I wank and I wank wank wank wank
Wank the day away
I make more milk than a dairy farmer
My knob's the size of a baby's arm. Ha!
I'm a compulsive masturbator, I'm a compulsive
MASTURBATOR

credits

from Goblin Creme, released January 18, 2016
Music and lyrics by Darius Hurley
Guitar, Bass, Drum programming, Vocals Darius Hurley
Mastered by Garret Hammond @ Noise Floor, Downers Grove, IL

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